Bud Bilanich | The Common Sense Guy

Tell the Truth

A friend of mine pointed out that it’s been a long time since I’ve done a fortune cookie post.  That’s true.  I haven’t.  As you might know, I keep a running list of fortune cookie fortunes that catch my attention – and appeal to my common sense.  (I wonder how you can get a job writing fortune cookie fortunes.)  My list has grown considerably. 

Here’s one that caught my attention when I visited the list today.  “A liar is not believed even though he tells the truth.”  There’s a lot of common sense in that fortune. 

I often tell people that a personal brand is important.  As you know, common sense is my brand.  I try to stay on brand at all times.  I use common sense to guide my personal decision making, and to help my friends and clients make the best decisions in their life and business. 

Being forthright and truthful is an important part of my common sense guy brand for a couple of reasons.  1) I’m known as a person of high integrity.  People know that I will speak my mind and tell them what I think.  They know that I will not lie to present myself in a better light.  They also know that they can count on me to keep confidences.  2) As Mark Twain says, “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”  In other words, you can get caught in a lie, but not in the truth.

And that’s the common sense point of the fortune.  Your reputation is the sum total of all of your interactions with others.  If you tell the truth nine times out of ten, or 99 times out of 100, you are likely to get a reputation as a liar.  That 1% or 10% of the time when you were less than truthful will see to that.  Once you have a reputation as a liar, it is difficult for people to see you as truthful.

So the common sense point here is pretty simple: always tell the truth.  If you do, you will become a credible, believable person.  Besides that, as Mark Twain points out, you won’t have worry about remembering which lies you told and to whom you told them.

That’s it for today.  Thanks for reading.  Log on to my website www.BudBilanich.com for more common sense.  Check out my other blog: www.SuccessCommonSense.com for common sense advice on becoming the career and life success you are meant to be.

I’ll see you around the web, and at Alex’s Lemonade Stand.

Bud

PS: Speaking of Alex’s Lemonade Stand – my fundraising page is still open.  Please go to www.FirstGiving.com/TheCommonSenseGuy to read Alex’s inspiring story and to donate if you can.

Be True to Yourself

I was having dinner at my favorite Chinese restaurant in Denver – Red Coral, if anyone is local – and got the following fortune: “God has given us one face, and we make ourselves another”; more deep and philosophic than most fortune cookies these days.

I thought about this fortune for a while and realized it makes an important point about career and life success – know yourself, be yourself...

Entrpreneurial Courage

I haven't done a fortune cookie post for a while.  I'm in New York City tonight, away from home over the weekend.  I don't like being away over the weekend, but tough travel often comes with being in business for one's self.  Business travel isn't always glamorous.  Tonight, I ordered some take out Chinese food and settled in to catch up with some work I've had on the back burner.  Tonight's fortune cookie said "Real courage is moving forward when the outcome is uncertain".

That's why I applaud entrepreneurs.  Anyone who is in business is courageous.  Because, as any entrpreneur can tell you, no matter how hard you work, the outcome is always uncertain.  Entrpreneurs not only have the courage to live their dreams, they are creating more jobs in the US economy than the big corporations.

So, take a bow all you entreprenuers out there.  You've earned it by having the courage to follow your dreams.

That's it for today.  Thanks for reading.  Log on to my webiste www.BudBilanich.com for my common sense advice.

I'll see you around the web, and at Alex's Lemonade Stand.

Bud

PS What have YOU done for your career today?

Asking the Right Questions

Today’s fortune cookie says “Judge one not by his charms, but by his qualities”.  This is very good advice for the hiring process.

Hiring can be frustrating and time consuming. It’s easy to fall prey to impulsive hiring of energetic, attractive and articulate candidates. Studies have shown that typical employment interviews are only 57 percent effective in predicting subsequent success. This is only 7 percent better than flipping a coin.  Other studies show that up to 95 percent of managers said they have made bad hiring decisions in the past.

Just Do It

It's been a while since I've done a fortune cookie post.  I got an interesting fortune the other day: Many receive advice, only the wise profit by it.

This fortune has been kicking around in the back of my mind for a few days.  Yesterday, I saw a post on Paughnee Moore's blog that was a natural tie in to this fortune.  Paughnee's post called, Leadership: Knowing vs. Doing, highlighted a study by Marshall Goldsmith called, "If They Understand, They Will Do." 

Paugnee says that "the brief blurb below the title says, 'Our greatest challenge as leaders is not understanding the practice of leadership; it is practicing our understanding of leadership.'  Goldsmith found that even though many of the leaders understood what they needed to do to improve their effectiveness as leaders, and recognized the value in doing it, they simply never followed through.  He goes on to say that 'long-term change in leadership effectiveness takes time, follow-up and discipline -- not just understanding.'"

I've found the same to be true about advice -- it has to be acted on; and like common sense -- it has to be applied.

Don't Be a Bully

The other day I was came across a syndicated article entitled "What to do About the Boss From Hell" that appeared in the Detroit Free Press.  The article began with a story about a woman named Stephanie Givinsky who "found herself working in an eight-person urban planning firm with a brilliant boss who regularly blamed and yelled at her and her co-workers.  It didn't take long for her to quit.  She found a job at a firm founded by one of her former colleagues.  Everyone else followed suit and, eventually her former boss closed the firm."

It moved on to make some points about John Bolton, President Bush's nominee for Ambassador to the United Nations, and apparently quite a bully boss.  It described an incident that occurred in Moscow in 1994.  Mr. Bolton, then a private attorney, apparently chased a foreign aid worker down the hallway of a hotel, yelling and throwing things at her and then pounding on her door.

In a flash of the blindingly obvious, a Michigan State professor was quoted as saying "there's a slew of studies that show how you treat people has a major effect on how committed people feel to the organization."

I was reading this article as I was eating my Chinese take out dinner.  My fortune cookie that day read "there is no wisdom greater than kindness".  How appropriate -- now that because of Mr. Bolton, workplace bullying is in the news. 

Being smart is not an accpetable reason for being rude.  In fact, there is no acceptable reason for being rude -- as a boss, an employee, a colleague, a customer, a service provider.

So, the common sense point for today is Be nice.  Treat everyone with kindness and respect -- the people who work for you, the people with whom you work, the people you work for, the people who serve you. 

In my opinion our world would be a better place if we were all more kind and civil to one another.  Doing your part to make the world a kindler, gentler place is rewarding.  However beyond that, kindness and civility will pay off in your life and career. 

I make it a point to learn the names of my clients' administrative support people.  When they answer the phone, I greet them by name and inquire after their well being.  I do this because it is the polite thing to do.  However, I find that these people often go out of their way to help me find time on their bosses' busy schedules.

The same is true with service people.  Hotel desk clerks, rental car agency counter people, airline agents are all nice to me.  Why?  Because I'm nice to them. I am patient when I'm in line.  I wait for them to call me.  When I stand in front of them, I smile and ask how they are.  If they are particularly busy, I'll comment on it, to let them know that someone realizes they are working hard.  In return, I usually get the upgrade I've requested or a little extra the other person chooses to throw in.  More importantly, I get a good feeling out of seeing someone smile -- especially when they're having a bad day.

Recently, I was having a bad day.  I was in New York.  It was hot and humid.  I was tired.  I had arrived late the night before and hadn't slept well.  I needed some office supplies, so I stopped at the Staples store on Sixth Avenue and 40th Street.  This particular store is the best run office products store -- or any store for that matter -- that I've ever been in.  The staff are friendly, knowledgeable and helpful without being pushy.  This place is so good, I use it as an example in my keynotes on customer service. 

As usual, I had a particularly good experience that day -- one of the clerks pointed out that I didn't need to buy the software I was considering, that I could accomplish what I needed to do using a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet.  As I was leaving the store, I ran into a manager.  I stopped and complimented him on the service level in his store.  ( I didn't tell him that one of his employees talked me out of a $200 sale.)  His smile lit up the store.  You would have thought I had given him a million dollars.  He was so appreciative of this little bit of positive feedback. 

This entire exchange took less than a minute.  When I got out onto the street, I noticed that I didn't feel as tired, and that the heat and humidity didn't seem so oppressive.  The point here is that by being kind to someone else, my day got better.  I didn't plan it this way, it just happened.

Back to the fortune cookie.  Being kind, treating people with respect and dignity will get you further in life than being smart, important, rich, or cool -- or any other measure you might use to set yourself above another person.   

So that's the thought for today.  Don't be bully.  Be a nice guy -- or gal.  Because, in my experience nice people don't finish last.  They usually finish ahead.

Thanks for reading.  For more common sense career advice log on to my website www.BudBilanich.com.

I'll see you around the web, and at Alex's Lemonade Stand.

Bud

Catching More Flies

Today's bit of fortune cookie wisdom is politeness costs nothing and gains everything.  Good advice.  In my experience, most truly successful people are very polite.

I think of myself as a gentleman.   I hold doors for people – both men and women.  I smile and ask people how they’re doing.  I try to not curse (I’m not always successful on this one).  I don’t walk across people’s lawns.  I always say “please and thank you” to people who serve me.  Some people see these behaviors as quaint and charming.  Others see them as old fashioned and out of touch with today’s reality.  I don’t care.  I prefer to be quaint and old fashioned if it means treating others with the respect they deserve as fellow human beings.

The world seems to be a less civil place than when I was growing up.  As I write this, I am on a train.  The guy behind me ran the Boston Marathon yesterday.  He did quite well too, placed second in the men’s over 50 age bracket.  I know this because he has been on his cell phone ever since I boarded the train.  He’s been calling everyone he knows and relating his adventures and misadventures – a terrible blister on his right foot, almost passing out at the finish line, making a poor decision to not wear his custom orthodics, catching two over 50 men in the last two miles of the race, his picture was in today’s Boston Globe. 

I’m happy for him.  I’ve never run a marathon, let alone finished second in my age group.  However, half of the train car knows about his experiences.  The woman sitting across from me has rolled her eyes several times.  He just goes on blissfully unaware that his loud conversations may be distracting to others who want to read or work – or just relax for that matter.

Cell phones aren’t the only sign of a general lack of politeness on today’s world.  Drivers cut off one another on the highway, and then make obscene gestures if the other party dares call their attention to it by a horn honk.   People get on elevators without waiting for others to get off.  People put their feet – sometimes bare feet – on the seats in front of them in theatres, arenas and stadiums.  People talk during movies.   “Please” and “thank you” are not part of a lot of people’s vocabularies. 

Taj Mahal is one of my favorite musicians.  Several years ago, I was at one of his concerts in a small venue.  This particular place served alcohol.  The guy behind me had had a few drinks.  He chose to carry on a conversation with the woman next to him during the performance.  After about 10 minutes, I turned around and said “would you please not talk while he’s singing”.  He answered, “No.  What are you going to do about it?”  Fortunately, it was an open seating event, so what I did was get up and move to the other side of the concert hall.

At first, I felt like a wimp.  Later, I congratulated myself for not engaging in unproductive conflict, and returning his rude behavior with equally rude behavior of my own.  Unfortunately, it seems that being polite these days can stigmatize one as a wimp.  I don’t care.  I’m more interested in building productive relationships with the people with whom I interact. 

Even when I am unintentionally impolite, I try to remedy the situation.  I was late getting to the train today.  I was flustered, as the handle on one of my bags broke while I was hurrying down the stairs to the platform.  I had a briefcase, small suitcase, a sport coat and my ticket in my hand. I was having a difficult time finding a seat.   As I was putting everything away, I put the ticket in my mouth to free up my hands.  At that moment, the conductor approached and asked for my ticket.  I took it out of my mouth and handed it to him.  As he handed me my receipt, he said, “try not to put your ticket in your mouth next time”.  Good point.  He deals with the public everyday.  He is exposed to all sorts of germs.  The last thing he needs or wants to handle is a ticket that’s been in someone’s mouth.  I said “I apologize.  That was rude.  I’m really sorry”.  You’ve probably heard the expression, “you could have knocked him down with a feather”.  It applied in this case.  The conductor was shocked that I apologized for handing him a ticket that had just been in my mouth.  He smiled sheepishly and said, “that’s OK”, and went on about his business.

So what’s the point?  The point is that I made a mistake and was rude to someone.  He called me on it.  I could have reacted angrily.  Instead, I did what I could to make the situation better.  I acknowledged that I was a fault, and apologized.  The net effect?  Two people who could have let this conversation ruin both of their days smiled at one another and went on with their business in better frames of mind.

I find that being polite benefits me in other ways.  I usually get what I want – an upgrade on a flight, a better table at a restaurant, a meeting with a busy client, a nicer room at a hotel.  The common sense career point here is that it’s in your own self interest to be polite. People respond better to you.  They are willing to extend consideration and courtesies to you that they might not to others.  And, as the fortune cookie said, it cost nothing.  My Grandma Bilanich always used to say “you get more flies with honey than with vinegar”.   I agree.  Spread some honey by being polite.  You’ll reap the rewards -- and the world will be a little more kind and gentle place.

Don't Fall In Love With Your Ideas

Recently, I got a fortune cookie that said “Ideas are like children.  Yours are always the best.” 

So true, so true.  In fact, I’ve encountered some people who seem to love their ideas even more than they love their children. 

There’s an old saying, “no one of us is as smart as all of us”.  I believe this to be true, and it goes to the common sense piece of advice for today: when someone starts speaking, and you think to yourself “that’s really stupid”, listen real hard, because you’ll probably learn something.

I’ve learned this lesson several times over, and yet I can very easily make the mistake of not listening when someone raises a point that is counter to my ideas.  In fact, this happened not too long ago.  I was doing a presentation for a group of clients.  When I clicked on the second slide, one of the people in the meeting said “I don’t agree with this, you’re missing the point here”. 

I had several reactions all at once – none of them very productive: “How dare he, I’m the consultant here.”  “How can he criticize what I’m going to say, before he even knows exactly what I’m going to say?”  “He just doesn’t understand.”   “Here he goes again; he’s always a pain in the butt.”

I was lucky this time – my brain kicked into gear and said “listen to him, Bud.  He feels strongly about this.  He might have something constructive to say.”  I did, and not surprisingly, he had something interesting to say. 

After listening to him, it turned out that he really didn’t think that I’d missed the point.  His issue was one of emphasis.  As I listened, I realized he was right.  So, right then and there, I changed the slide to reflect his point of view.  This was a double win.  1) I now have a better, better thought out presentation, and 2) my relationship with this individual is much improved.  He really appreciated the fact that I was willing to change my presentation to accommodate his ideas.

This doesn’t always happen.  In my experience, when people are confronted with ideas that differ from their own, they go into one of three modes: attack, rationalization or listening.  Listening is the only one that has any chance of a positive result.

The attack mode will escalate the conflict.  What probably started out as a difference of opinion can quickly escalate into a shouting match if you attack the other person’s ideas or worse yet, person himself or herself.

Rationalizing – trying to explain yourself better – tends to frustrate the other person.  In most cases, they will think that you are not listening to them, and really don’t want to listen to them.  The most typical rationalizing behaviors are to keep explaining your positions, and to speak louder – as if the other person really hears what you are saying, he or she will see the light and agree with you.

Listening works for two reasons: 1) the other person will appreciate you taking the time to understand his or her point, and 2) it opens the door to dialogue.  Open, honest dialogue usually leads to a collaborative agreement that is better than either of the points with which you both started.

To sum up – when confronted with ideas that differ from your own, go into a listening mode.  Work hard to understand the other person’s point of view.  Try to find points on which you and he or she agree.  Use these points of agreement to build a collaborative agreement that meets both of your needs.

If you treat your ideas like children, remember that others are doing so too.  And, like with children, there is some good in every idea.  The trick is to engage the people who have different ideas from you.  You’ll probably learn something, and you’ll come up with better ideas.

For more of my common sense advice, log on to my website www.BudBilanich.com.

I’ll see you around the web.

Bud

Brevity of Speech

I look for good ideas wherever I can find them.  Lately, I've been struck by some solid, pragmatic common sense business ideas I've found in fortune cookies.  Occassionally, I will post some "Fortune Cookie Wisdom" here.

Today's tidbit is "Wisdom often goes with brevity of speech."

This is good common sense advice for all of us.  If you can't get your ideas across in a few spoken sentences or written paragraphs, then you probably need to think about them a little more.  I know lots of people who struggle with writing.  I never do.  When I sit down to write, and the words just aren't coming, I realize that my ideas aren't well thought out.  I get up from the computer and go and do something else -- letting the thoughts percolate in my mind.  It may take a day or two, but when I next sit in front of my laptop, the words flow.  And they flow in simple sentences, with easy to understand language. 

Take a hint here, make sure your ideas are clear in your head before you begin to write.  If you are struggling, step away for a while.  Use simple sentences and common words, and I guarantee that your writing will improve.

The same is true for speaking.  Don't ramble.  Know what you have to say, and how you want to say it.  An old sales manager once told me that he built his career on the "three Be's of selling:

• Be clear
• Be brief
• Be gone

It's that simple. 

Clarity comes from preparation.  Get intimate with your message, know what you want to say. 

Brevity is a direct result of your ability to choose your words well.  If you know what you want to say, you should be able to get your thoughts across succintly.

Finally, don't get into an overkill mode.  Make your point and leave it at that.  If the other person has questions, he or she will ask.  Many proposals have been shot down because the person presenting them didn't know when to quit. 

Be clear, be brief, and be gone -- common sense ideas for getting your ideas across.  If you follow thess three rules, you too will be seen as a wise person.  Remember: "Wisdom often goes with brevity of speech."

See you around the web

Bud