Do What Scares You the Most

Self confidence is one of the keys to career and life success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success.  If you want to become self confident, you need to do three things: 1) become an optimist; 2) face your fears and deal with them; and 3) surround yourself with positive people.

Today, I’d like to focus on fear – that uncomfortable feeling that prevents you from taking the action necessary to get what you want in life.

What scares you?  What have you done to overcome this fear?  Please leave a comment sharing your story.  Here’s my story.

For many years, I would tell people that I really wanted to start a consulting business.  Yet I never seemed to actually start it.  When people asked why, I’d tell them things like, “The time isn’t right;” “I’m really busy on this project at work, and I can’t leave them in the lurch;” “I haven’t put aside enough money to make the break.” 

All of these reasons were more or less true, but they masked the real reason for quitting my job and starting a business.  That reason was omnipotent.  Put simply, I was afraid that I’d fail.  Failure meant a lot of bad things: lack of income, loss of self confidence, loss of face and others’ respect.  I was afraid of all these.

Finally, the pain of not doing what I wanted to do allowed me to overcome my fear of failure, and I took the leap.  I quit my job and started my consulting business.  Over the past 20 years it has morphed into a coaching, speaking and writing business, but I’m still at it. 

Once I took action and made the leap, I realized that I was in control of my destiny.  The simple act of taking the action necessary to start my business, led to the other necessary actions to make it a success.  One small action led to many other small actions that allowed me to put my fear behind me.  I was too busy working on creating a successful business to be worried about failing.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes over the past 20 years, but I’ve chosen to learn from them instead of letting mistakes dig up old my old fear of failure.  In Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill says “every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equivalent or a greater benefit.”

Over the years, I’ve chosen to look for the opportunities and benefits in the problems I’ve encountered.  That’s what you need to do too.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are self confident.  Fear is the enemy of self confidence.  It can immobilize you, making it difficult to reach your goals and aspirations.  You can overcome fear by taking action.  You’ll probably make mistakes and have a few failures.  Don’t fear these mistakes and failures.  Use them as to find new and better ways of getting what you want.  Remember this simple message: action cures fear.

That’s my take on self confidence, fear and action.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment telling us about how you have conquered your fears and achieved things you once thought difficult or impossible.  I appreciate your comments and would really like to hear your stories.  Thanks for reading.

Bud

Comments

[Stella]

Great post. Fear really kills your dreams and goals. We need to have more self-confidence to face our fears and succeed in life. Being with positive people helps us become positive as well, thus, makes it more easier to face our fear.

[Zoltan]

I think action creates solutions. You have to do certain things in life even if you don't want to do it.You have to have a plan or imagination of which direction you are going and just do it. Sometimes too much thinking could be damaging. Start your day by taking care of the most important tasks and enjoy the rest of your day.

[Bud Bilanich]

Zoltan:
You are correct -- it can be easy to overthink things. I'm a big believer in action. If it doesn't work, at least you have learned one thing to avoid next time.
Thanks for your comment,
BB

[Bud Bilanich]

Stella:
Correct. Positive people really help us deal with our fears. That's why the three things most important to building self confidence are: 1) optimism, 2) facing your fears and acting, and 3) surrounding yourself with positive people.
Thank you so much for your comment.
All the best,
BB

[Maia Berens]

I love these three ideas...1) become an optimist; 2) face your fears and deal with them; and 3) surround yourself with positive people. What a good way to look at it. Often I read blogs about self confidence that tell you to work out or look better so that you get compliments. That's not self confidence that's ego feeding. But self confidence is a choice that the these three ideas will lead to the blossoming of a new you.

[Bud Bilanich]

Maia:
Thanks for your comment. I appreciate and value every comment I get -- especially those that agree with my point of view. :)
Seriously, you're right. Self confidence comes from within. The more optimistic you are, the more you are willing to face your fears and act, and the more you surround yourself with positive people, the more confident you'll become.
I'm going to check out your blog right now...
Thanks again,
BB