Success Common Sense

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Thanks,

Bud

Commit to Your Success

Commitment to your own personal and professional success is one of the keys to success that I discuss in several of my books: Straight Talk for Success, Your Success GPS and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success.  You demonstrate commitment to your personal and professional success when you do three things: 1) Take personal responsibility for your success.  2) Set high goals.  Do whatever it takes to achieve them.  3) Choose to react positively to everything that happens to you.

It’s simple, really. Success is all up to you, and me, and anyone else who wants it. We all have to take personal responsibility for our own success. I am the only one who can make me a success. You are the only one who can make you a success.

Stuff happens: good stuff, bad stuff, frustrating stuff, unexpected stuff.  Successful people respond to the stuff that happens in a positive way.  Humans are the only animals with free will.  That means we – you and me – get to decide how we react to every situation that comes up.  That’s why committing to taking personal responsibility for your personal and professional success is so important.

Personal responsibility means recognizing that you are responsible for your life and the choices you make. It means that you realize that while other people and events have an impact on your life, these people and events don’t shape your life. When you accept personal responsibility for your life, you own up to the fact that how you react to people and events is what’s important. And you can choose how to react to every person you meet and everything that happens to you.

The concept of personal responsibility is found in most writings on success. Stephen Covey’s first of the seven habits of highly effective people is, “Be proactive.” My friend John Miller’s book QBQ: the Question Behind the Question asks readers to pose questions like, “What can I do to become a top performer?”  John really believes that taking personal responsibility for your life and career is the key to professional success.

The other three keys to success – clarity, confidence and competence -- work only if you are willing to take responsibility for your life and career. Your personal commitment to taking responsibility for your own success is the foundation of your success.

Personal responsibility means using this material once you learn it. I’ve written this book to provide you with useful information and knowledge on becoming a professional success.  But, as the U.S. Steel pencils my Dad brought home from work used to say, “Knowing is not enough.”

When I was a kid, I was really fascinating and puzzled by these pencils. “Knowing is not enough – what the hell does that mean?” I used to think. I spent hours struggling with that idea. I was too stubborn to ask a grown-up.

When I got to Penn State, I took Philosophy 101 my freshman year. We had to read Johann von Goethe. One day, as I was plowing through an assignment, I came across this quote: “Knowing is not enough, we must do. Willing is not enough, we must apply.”

Boy was I glad I took that course! It solved one of the profound mysteries of my childhood:  “Knowing is not enough.” As I take it, you have to take what you learn and use it, or what you’ve learned isn’t very valuable. That’s part of personal responsibility, using your knowledge to achieve your goals.

The common sense point here is clear.  Successful people commit to taking personal responsibility for their own success.  They realize that personal and professional success are the result of focus and hard work.  If you want to succeed, you need to look for the opportunity in failure.  Successful people don’t give up.  They keep on working towards their goals with a single minded focus. 

That’s my take on commitment to personal responsibility and success.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

Create Your Success by Faking It Till You Make It

Self confidence is one of the keys to career and life success that I discuss in several of my books: Straight Talk for Success, Your Success GPS and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success.  If you want to become self confident you need to do three things.  First, choose optimism.  Believe that today will be better than yesterday and that tomorrow will be better than today.  Second, face your fears and act.  Don’t let your fears get in the way of your confidence or success.  Third surround yourself with positive people.

I subscribe to the Napoleon Hill Foundation’s “Thought for the Day.”  Today’s thought was…

“If you don’t believe it yourself, don’t ask anyone else to do so.”

How true.  Self confidence is crucial to building a successful life and career.  When your actions – your posture, tone of voice etc. -- demonstrate your confidence, other people believe in you and your ability to perform.  On the other hand, when your actions demonstrate a lack of confidence, others doubt your ability. 

There’s an old saying, “Fake it till you make it.”  This is especially true when it comes to building your self confidence.  When you stand tall, look people in the eye and speak in a direct manner, you will appear to be self confident – even if you aren’t.  When you appear to be self confident, people will treat you as if you are.  This in turn, will boost your self confidence.

It’s a subtle but important point.  You can build your self confidence by acting as if you are self confident.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are self confident.  You can become self confident by acting as if you are self confident – even if you aren’t.   People respond to your cues.  If you slouch, avoid eye contact and never voice an opinion, people will see you as lacking in confidence.  If you stand tall, look people in the eye and state your thoughts and opinions in a direct, straightforward manner, other people will see you as being confident and will treat you positively.  This will help build your self confidence.  It’s a win/win.

That’s my take on self confidence and faking it till you make it.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

Your Clarity of Purpose and Success

Clarity of purpose and direction is one of the keys to career and life success that I discuss in several of my books: Straight Talk for Success, Your Success GPS and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success.  You can develop your personal clarity of purpose and direction by doing three things.  First, define what success means to you.  Second, create a vivid image of your success in your mind.  Third, clarify your personal values.  Your values will guide your decision making in ambiguous situations.

Clarity of purpose and direction begins with a clear picture of how you define professional success.  When I was 25, if you asked me what I wanted to be doing when I was 50, I would have told you, “Running a one person consulting, coaching and speaking business from my house.”  Guess what?  I have been running a one person consulting, coaching and speaking business from my house every since 1988.  My clarity of purpose propelled me toward my goal.

I have a friend who is a serial entrepreneur.  He started a software business when he was 27.  He built it up and sold it to a major computer manufacturer by the time he was 35.  He has since started and sold four other companies.  His clarity of purpose lies in the challenge of creating something new, building it into a viable, sustainable business and then moving on.

I have another friend who recently retired as the Executive VP of Human Resources for a Fortune 50 company.  We were chatting a few days ago.  She told me that when she was in college, she decided that she was going to join a good company and work her way up the ladder.  She took an entry level HR job with a company she liked.  It took her over 25 years, but she eventually became the most senior HR person in that company.  Her clarity of purpose and definition of success was different from mine, but she reached her goal.

My second friend told me that her son has yet a different definition of success.  He is not interested in climbing the corporate ladder, or in being an entrepreneur.  He wants an interesting job where he can contribute, but he doesn’t want to spend inordinate amounts of time at work.  He wants to spend as much time with his family as he can.  His definition of success is different from his mother.

All four of us are professional successes – according to our clarity of purpose. 

There is no one correct definition of professional success.  There are as many definitions as there are people in this world.  Your definition of professional success is what’s right for you – not anyone else.  I would not have been happy building and selling a number of businesses in succession, climbing a corporate ladder or working for a large company in an individual contributor position.  However, as you can tell from the stories of the three people above, they were.  They knew what they wanted and they went after it.

That’s why defining your clarity of purpose is so important.  Your clarity of purpose provides both a foundation and launching pad for your professional success.  The old saying, “If you don’t know where you’re going, you won’t know when you get there” is a cliché but true.  Getting clear on your personal definition of profession success is the first step to becoming a career and life success.

If you haven’t already done so, I suggest you take some time and think about your clarity of purpose?  How do you define professional success for yourself?  Keep that purpose and definition of success in mind as you go about your daily business.  Think about how what you do can help you reach your purpose.

The common sense point here is simple.  Defining your personal clarity of purpose is the first step in becoming a personal and professional success.  Use your purpose in life to guide your career and life decision making.  Once you are clear on what you want from life, it becomes relatively easy to determine what you need to do to get you there.  It all begins with clarity – and only you can determine what success means for you.

That’s my take on clarity of purpose and success.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, you have my humblest thanks for taking the time to read what I write.  Make it a great week.

Bud

Cary Grant, Interpersonal Competence and Success

Interpersonal competence is one of the keys to personal and professional success that I discuss in several of my books: Straight Talk for Success, Your Success GPS and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success.  If you want to become interpersonally competent you need to do three things.  First, get to know yourself.  Use this self knowledge to better understand and communicate with others.  Second, build solid, lasting, mutually beneficial relationships with the people in your life.  Third, resolve conflict in a creative manner and with little upset to your relationships.

The other day I came across a prayer attributed to Cary Grant.  I’ve edited it for brevity, but the important ideas are still there…“Release me from trying to straighten out everyone's affairs. Make me thoughtful, but not moody, helpful but not overbearing. Take a look…

“Lord, keep me from the habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion.  Keep my tongue free from the recital of endless details.

“Seal my lips on my aches and pains.  I ask for grace enough to listen to the retelling of others' afflictions and to be helped to endure them with patience.

“Release me from trying to straighten out everyone's affairs. Make me thoughtful, but not moody, helpful but not overbearing.

“Give me improved memory with growing humility and an ability to capitulate when my memory clashes with the memory of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that on some occasions, I may be mistaken.

“Keep me reasonably kind.  An embittered person is a constant burden.

“Please give me the ability to see good in unlikely places and talents in unexpected people. And give me the grace to tell them so.”

That is some prayer – and the embodiment of interpersonal competence.  Cary Grant asked for the gifts of: silence and listening; the ability to empathize with others’ afflictions without going into detail about his; the tendency to give unwanted and unasked for advice; the willingness to admit is mistakes; kindness; and the ability to see the good in others – and to tell them so.

I have printed this prayer and have hung it in my office.  I aspire to all of the characteristics for which Cary Grant prayed.  I hope that God will give me these gifts too.  Because if He does, I know I will become an interpersonally competent person.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are interpersonally competent.  Interpersonally competent people – listen to and empathize with others; avoid giving unwanted and unsolicited advice; admit their mistakes; are kind; see the good in others and tell them so.  This is a pretty high standard to set for yourself.  But as I pointed out in another blog post this week, it’s best to set high goals.  So do yourself a favor and set the goal of living up to these ideals.  The people in your life will thank you, and you’ll be well on your way to becoming a truly interpersonally competent person.

That’s my take on Cary Grant’s prayer and interpersonal competence.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

Addiction to Praise Hampers Conversation Success

Dynamic communication skills are one of the keys to personal and professional success that I discuss in several of my books: Straight Talk for Success, Your Success GPS and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success.  If you want to become a dynamic communicator you need to master three basic, but very important communication skills: Conversation, Writing and Presenting.

I was paging through the August issue of The Oprah Magazine (yes guys, there’s good stuff for us in there too), and came across an article by Martha Beck called “The Praise Drug.”  The article began with a story about Sarah…

“Sarah was an addict…a few hours after she’d glowingly received an award, she was curled up in bed, anxious, needy, already jonesing for a fix.  Sarah was abusing something more powerful, insidious and accessible than any street drug: the adoration and esteem of others that some psychologists call narcissistic supply.  Simply put, she was addicted to praise.  Her entire life revolved around eliciting positive attention from others.”

People like Sarah are never good conversationalists, because they turn every conversation into an opportunity to talk about themselves.  And, talking only about yourself – no matter how interesting you think you are – doesn’t make you a sparkling conversationalist, it brands you as a bore.

Several years ago, I saw a cartoon in the newspaper.  Two women were in a conversation at a party.  Woman number one says, “But enough about me, let’s talk about you.  What do you think of my dress?”

I’m sure you know people like this.  Recently Cathy and I were with another couple.  The woman was a talker.  By the end of our time together, we knew everything about her, her children, her grandchildren and her friends and their children and grandchildren.  She knew very little about us – for two reasons.  First, she never asked.  Second, she was so busy speaking about herself that she never gave us any time to speak about ourselves. 

From the little (or depending on how you think about it, the lot) I know this woman, I’m sure she thinks she is a dynamite conversationalist – always keeping things going, never a dull moment, willing to share the details of her life.  Unfortunately she is wrong.  A good conversationalist demonstrates more interest in others than himself or herself.

I saw a quote on line the other day.  I’m sorry I can’t remember it exactly, but it went something like…

A self centered person enters a room and says, “Here I am.”  A gracious person enters a room and says, “Ah, there you are.”

Good conversationalists are gracious, not self centered.  They enter each conversation letting the other person know that he or she is important and that they want to learn about him or her.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are dynamic communicators.  Dynamic communicators are excellent conversationalists.  The essence of good conversation is a willingness to listen to, and learn from, others.  People who are addicted to praise, those whose “narcissistic supply” is in short supply, are seldom good conversationalists.  In seeking the approval of others, they speak only of themselves and their lives.  They seldom take the time to engage other people in conversation and listen to what they have to say.  If you want to become a good conversation, get interested in other people.  Learn about them and their lives.  They’ll reciprocate and give you the chance to talk about you and your life.

That’s my take on the addiction to praise and how it hampers effective conversation.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

High Goals, Outstanding Performance and Success

Outstanding performance is one of the keys to personal and professional success that I discuss in several of my books: Straight Talk for Success, Your Success GPS and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success.  If you want to become an outstanding performer, you need to do three things.  First, stay on top of your game by becoming a lifelong learner.  Second, set high goals and do whatever it takes to achieve them.  Third, get organized.  Manage your time, life and stress well.

I have great little book in my office called The Portable DO IT! Let’s Get Off Our Butts.  I often turn to it for inspiration.  I opened it up yesterday to page 95 and found this piece of advice from Robert Fritz…

The way you activate the seeds of your creation is by making choices about the results you want to create.  When you make a choice, you mobilize vast human energies and resources which otherwise go untapped.  All too often people fail to focus their choices upon results and therefore their choices are ineffective.  If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise.

This is great advice when it comes to goals setting.  Don’t be afraid to set high goals.  The higher your goals, the more likely you are to become an outstanding performer.  Mediocre performers most often begin with limited goals.  As Robert Fritz says, when you set high goals for yourself, “you mobilize vast human energies and resources which otherwise go untapped.”

It’s a shame to let your personal energy and resources to go untapped.  Set high goals and dig deep inside to do whatever it takes to achieve them.  Les Brown, a well known motivational speaker says it quite well…

If you set goals and go after them with all the determination you can muster, your gifts will take you places that will amaze you.

To do this, you have to trust yourself.  You have to trust that you can do it – and more importantly that you will do it.  We are all capable of accomplishing so much more than we think we can. 

If you’re goals are too modest, you’ll never achieve everything of which you are capable, and you certainly won’t become an outstanding performer.  Outstanding performers are career and life stars because they reach for the stars.

Here’s another quote that sums up this post quite well – unfortunately I don’t know the attribution; if you do, please leave a comment letting us know who said these wise words…

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short, but in setting our aim too low and achieving our mark.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are outstanding performers.  Outstanding performers are goal oriented.  They set high goals, and do whatever it takes to achieve them.  Then they set higher goals and do what they must to achieve them.  They do this day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year.  If you want to become an outstanding performer, you need to constantly challenge yourself by setting high goals.  Aim high, and you’ll be surprised at what you can accomplish.

That’s my take on high goals and outstanding performance.  What’s yours?  Please take a minute to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

First Impressions and Success

Positive personal impact is one of the keys to career and life success that I’ve discussed in a few of my books: Straight Talk for Success, Your Success GPS and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success.  If you want to create positive personal impact, you need to do three things.  First, develop and nurture your unique personal brand.  Second, be impeccable in your presentation of self – in person and on line.  Third, know and follow the basic rules of etiquette.

First impressions are incredibly important in your presentation of self.  Diane Craig is a friend of mine.  She is also a North American leader in image and etiquette, and President of Corporate Class Inc. Diane has put together a free Teleseminar: How to Create a Professional and Image Plan which will take place on Tuesday, July 28 at 1:00 EDT.  You can register at:
https://www.corporateclassinc.com/cgi-bin/imagecartlight.pl?add_item=y&product_no=5009&quantity=1&aff=BudBilanich.com

In this teleseminar Diane will share the critical elements you need to have in place to project your own look of success.  You can become the architect of your own image plan by following Diane’s expert advice and simple steps.

Diane has been in business for over 20 years, providing corporate consultations and helping hundreds of men and women realize their professional and personal goals.  She is a sought after speaker at international business meetings and regularly gives comprehensive workshops to Fortune 500 corporate groups.  Diane is a regular contributor to magazines, the daily press, radio and television broadcasts. She has appeared on newscasts for comment on business conduct, dress codes, and politician and celebrity attire.  Besides that, she’s really cool.  Diane is one of my favorite people, and my favorite Canadian

Diane will be joined on the teleseminar by guest speaker Paul Copcutt.  Paul has been recognized by Forbes as a global leader in personal branding.  He is a much sought after speaker and media resource.  Paul has been interviewed by Reuters and The Wall Street Journal and regularly appears in The (Toronto) Globe & Mail.

Go here to register for Diane and Paul’s teleseminar:
https://www.corporateclassinc.com/cgi-bin/imagecartlight.pl?add_item=y&product_no=5009&quantity=1&aff=BudBilanich.com

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people create positive personal impact.  People who create positive personal impact develop and nurture their unique personal brands and are impeccable in their presentation of self.  Diane Craig, President of Corporate Class Inc, has an amazing free teleseminar on personal branding and creating a personal image plan.  You should check it out. 

That’s my take on the importance of personal branding and your presentation of self.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  Even better, listen to Diane Craig’s free teleseminar and share the most important point you learned there.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

A Positive State of Mind, Self Confidence and Success

Self confidence is one of the keys to personal and professional success that I discuss in several of my books: Straight Talk for Success, Your Success GPS and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success.  If you want to become self confident you need to do three things.  First, choose optimism.  Second, face your fears and act.  Third, surround yourself with positive people.

The other day, I saw quote about self confidence and success from Dr. Joyce Brothers…

“Success is a state of mind.  If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.”

Great common sense advice.  And, a great starting point for success.

I find that affirmations are a great way to begin thinking of yourself as a success.  Affirmations are positive self talk. The idea behind affirmations is that if you think of the things to which you aspire, like being successful in your life and career, and tell yourself that you are successful, then you will believe that you can become successful. More importantly, you will be more likely to do the work it takes to make that aspiration come true.

My eBook, Star Power, was my first attempt at writing about career and life success. It is based on a model that has five points. I use a star to depict this model. In Star Power, I discussed how to become a career and life star. I like the star metaphor, so I created an affirmation for myself around it. Daily, I repeat the following affirmation to myself: “Bud Bilanich is a star.”

I’ve done a lot of working in making this affirmation a reality – writing more books, redoing my website, developing better promotional materials, blogging etc.

I’ve also done something a little unusual. In 2006, I went to the Name a Star website and named a star after myself. Now I can say “Bud Bilanich is a star” and really believe it, because Bud Bilanich really is a star.

Bud Bilanich, the star, is Catalog Number TYC  868-1011-1 in the constellation Leo. Bud Bilanich, the star, has a Visual Magnitude indicator of 11.2. Right Ascension is 11h 58m 21s. Declination is 11degrees, 43,’18.”

I don’t have a clue what all of these things mean, except the constellation Leo, which I chose because my birthday is August 14. But I do know one thing. Bud Bilanich is a star!

How’s that for an affirmation?

Affirmations work. And you don’t have to go to the lengths I did to make them work. Just decide what you want, visualize yourself as having it, and tell yourself you have it. Then do whatever it takes to make that affirmation come true.  The last part is the most important, so I’ll say it again…Do whatever it takes to make your affirmations come true.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are self confident.  As Dr. Joyce Brothers points out, success is a state of mind.  Self confident people create a positive and successful state of mind because they think of themselves as successful.  When they feel their confidence slipping, successful people use affirmations to reinforce their belief in themselves and their positive state of mind.  A positive state of mind, self confidence and affirmations create a situation where you’ll be more likely to do the work you need to do to succeed.  In other words, start with a positive state of mind, use affirmations to maintain your self confidence and keep working hard – and you’ll become a personal and professional success.

That’s my take on a positive state of mind, self confidence and success.   What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

Think "WE" for Success

Interpersonal competence is one of the keys to career and life success in several of my books: Straight Talk for Success, 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success and Your Success GPS.  In each of these books, I explain that if you want to become interpersonally competent, you need to do three things.  First, get to know yourself.  Use this self knowledge to better understand and work with others.  Second, build solid, lasting mutually beneficial relationships with the people in your life.  Third, resolve conflict positively.  Use conflict as an opportunity to enhance, not detract from your relationships.

The other day, I was interviewed by Derek Burnett, a writer for Positively Magazine (www.positivelymagazine.com) for an article he is writing on the nuts and bolts of how to maximize one's interpersonal competence and use it to greatest effect for career advancement and success.  Obviously, this topic is right up my alley.

As we were finishing our talk, Derek asked me if I knew of other people he could interview on this topic.  I suggested that he speak to my friend Judith Glaser.  Judith is the author of a very powerful book Creating WE.  Creating WE was chosen as one of the Forbes 40 Notable Business Books of 2005, the year it was published.  Judith has expanded on the thinking in Creating WE by creating the Creating WE Institute, of which I am proud to say I am a founding member.  As a matter of fact, I have contributed three chapters to the forthcoming book 42 Rules for Creating WE.

I bring up Creating WE here because I think that Judith’s ideas about we-centric thinking have a lot to do with interpersonal competence.  Interpersonally competence people think “WE” first and “I” second.  That’s how they build and maintain strong relationships and resolve conflict in a positive manner. 

In the Preface to Creating WE, Judith lists several characteristics of successful executives.  Here is a summary of these characteristics…

• The ability to have healthy conversations that build a sense of common purpose and challenge others in creative ways.
• The ability to encourage others to step out of their comfort zone and take action in the face of ambiguity.
• The ability to leave behind the toxic, emotional baggage of the past and to tap into one’s creativity and underused talents.
• The ability and willingness to exchange knowledge and wisdom with others.
• The ability to redefine challenging circumstances in creative ways, to tell new stories that connect people and shape the future.
• The ability to focus on the positives, celebrate success, grow from failure and build hope and spirit.
• The ability to find one’s voice and be fearless in creating “WE-centric” cultures that foster an attitude of “we are all in this together.”

I share Judith’s thinking as expressed in Creating WE here, because I believe her ideas go a long way in defining the essence of what it takes to become a truly interpersonally competent person.  I hope Derek includes her thoughts in his article in Positively Magazine.

The common sense point here is clear.  Successful people are interpersonally competent.  Interpersonally competent people are able to build strong relationships and resolve conflict with minimal or no damage to their relationships.  Thinking “WE”, instead of “I” is a great way to begin building strong relationships with the important people in your life.  A WE approach to building relationships begins with healthy conversations that build a sense of common purpose, and ends with being fearless in creating “WE-centric” cultures that foster an attitude of “we are all in this together.”

That’s my take on WE thinking and interpersonal competence.  What’s yours?  Please take a minute and act in a WE manner.  Leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud