Last week, my friends at Walk the Talk Company sent me three of their latest handbooks:
• Ouch! That Stereotype Hurts, by Leslie Aguilar
• How to Lead from a Distance, by Debra Dinnocenzo
• 180 Ways to Spread Contagious Enthusiasm, by Barbara Glanz
I read them all over the weekend. They all have some great things to say. Today, I’d like to spend a little time discussing the ideas in Ouch! That Stereotype Hurts…
Ouch! That Stereotype Hurts is subtitled Communicating Respectfully in a Diverse World. And that’s the beauty of this little book. As the introduction says, this book focuses on helping all of us 1) identify our biases, 2) explore ways to reduce them and 3) communicate in more inclusive, bias free ways.
I believe these things are more important than ever. In recent years in the US, it seems to me that we have become less and less tolerant. As we have become increasingly polarized politically, even party affiliations like Democrat or Republican have become ways to denigrate one with whom we disagree – “he’s a Democrat” or, she’s a Republican, what do you expect?” In Colorado where I live, both sides in the debate over illegal immigration rely on stereotypes to make their points.
Instead of dismissing the ideas of people with whom we disagree, I believe we should spend more time getting to know one another and discussing our differences in a constructive manner. Ms. Aguilar says that people who engage in this type of communication are Professionally Competent and Personally Conscious – similar ideas to one of the five points in my star power model: Interpersonal Competence.
She provides some interesting examples of bias and stereotyping, and the resulting effect. One, in particular, caught my attention.
- Example: “Let Jen work the holiday. She’s single; she doesn’t have a family.”
- Effect: Discounting (treating as less than valuable), unfair treatment of single employees.
This one resonated with me, because it happened to my niece recently. She is a Manager for a large retail chain. She was asked to work a Sunday for which she was not scheduled -- Mother’s Day, because “she’s single, and the other women have families”. In this case, the stereotype ignored the fact that my niece had plans to spend the Mother’s Day holiday with her Mother and Grandmother.
In Ouch! That Stereotype Hurts, Ms. Aguilar provides eight common ways stereotypes surface and are perpetuated.
- Jokes
- Labels
- Oversimplifications applied to all people of a certain group
- Stereotypical descriptors
- Personal assumptions about individuals based on a group to which they belong
- Assuming a member of a group is a spokesperson for all member of that group
- Descriptors that evoke stereotypes because they are a contradiction to a stereotype
- Statistical stereotyping
Ms. Aguilar does an excellent job of helping readers understand the destructive potential of bias and in coming to grips with their biases. She says we must not only be aware of our biases, but we must “speak up against bias without blame or guilt”. She lists 12 techniques for taking action without blame or guilt. I think everyone should read this book, so I won’t give away her thoughts on these 12 techniques.
Ouch! That Stereotype Hurts concludes with a chapter on what we can all do to become more inclusive, bias free communicators.
- Look inward – become aware of your own biases.
- Learn from your mistakes – don’t repeat them
- Speak up, interrupt, intervene – say something when you encounter bias or non inclusive behavior
- Plan ahead – especially important for leaders
- Learn from others – find a good role model and emulate him or her
- Listen with kindness – don’t become a “bias cop”, assume good intent on the part of others.
I really like this book. I recommend it to everyone – small business owners, leaders and everyone who works with people everyday. In Ouch! That Stereotype Hurts, Leslie Aguilar shows us biased communication can be very destructive in the workplace. More importantly, she provides us with some clear, easy (in concept at least) to implement ideas to make our communication more inclusive and bias free. And, more inclusive and bias free communication can help make our companies, communities and world better, more accepting places. I’m all for that.
That’s it for today. Thanks for reading. Log on to my website, www.BudBilanich.com for more common sense life and career advice.
I’ll see you around the web, and at Alex’s Lemonade Stand.
Bud
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