Success Common Sense

Success Common Sense Special Edition on Leadership

Greetings from Nagoya Japan!

I know that I said I was taking a week off due to my heavy consulting and speaking schedule this week while I am in Japan.  But, it’s Sunday morning here, and I just read the Fortune article Top 10 Companies for Leaders.  Leadership development is a topic that is near and dear to my heart, so here are my thoughts on leaders and leadership.

Be Nice to the People Around You

Please note: I am leaving for Japan for a week today.  I have a full consulting and speaking schedule when I’m there, so I won’t be posting next week.  I’ll resume posting the week of October 8. 

Today is Friday, so this post is on interpersonal competence.

Yesterday’s Wall Street Journal had an interesting article entitled Job References You Can’t Control.  The article pointed out that today many hiring managers do a web check of prospective employees.  They look for mutual connections on sites like Facebook and LinkedIn and call them to get the low down on applicants.  They check references that you haven't provided.

In other words, today it’s easy for prospective employees to learn a lot about you before they even meet you.  That’s why interpersonal competence is more important today than ever.  Essentially, everyone with whom you have worked is now a potential reference for you – whether or not you provide them as references.

If you recall, interpersonally competent people share three things in common:

1. They are self aware, and use this awareness to understand others.
2. They build strong, lasting, mutually beneficial relationships with the people in their lives.
3. They are adept at resolving conflict in a positive manner.

If you master these three tips, you won’t have to worry about what people who a prospective employer might contact will have to say.  If you understand others, you can communicate with them in a positive manner.  If you build strong relationships, people will speak well of you.  If you resolve conflict positively, you won’t have a lot of people holding grudges against you.

In other words, if you’re a good guy – or gal – people will like you and will speak well of you.  When it comes down to it, there are always a number of qualified candidates for any given job.  The person who gets the job is usually the one who people feel good about.  People feel good about interpersonally competent people.  That means that interpersonally competent people don’t have to worry about others will say about them when asked for a reference.

Be a good guy.  People will like you better.  You’ll feel good about yourself.  And, you’ll get the jobs you want.  It’s only common sense.

That’s it for today.  Thanks for reading.  Log on to my website www.BudBilanich.com to subscribe to my monthly ezine and for more common sense.  Check out my other blog: www.CommonSenseGuy.com for common sense advice on leading people and running a small business.

I’ll see you around the web, and at Alex’s Lemonade Stand.

Bud

PS: Speaking of Alex’s Lemonade Stand – my fundraising page is still open.  Please go to www.FirstGiving.com/TheCommonSenseGuy to read Alex’s inspiring story and to donate if you can.

Good Conversationalists Know How Much to Talk and How Much to Listen

Today is Thursday, so this post is on communication skills, specifically conversation skills.

I love WikiHows.  The other day, I found a good one on conversation skills called How to Tell if You Talk Too Much and What to Do if You Do.

I liked it so much, that I’m posting it here.

Take Personal Responsibility for Your Performance

Today is Wednesday, so this post is on outstanding performance.

I usually post this blog and my www.CommonSenseGuy.com first thing every morning.  It’s part of the discipline I’ve developed for myself.  A couple of weeks ago, I had a lot of stuff happen first thing in the morning.  I spent several hours putting out minor fires.

When I looked up, it was almost noon and I had not posted either of my blogs for the day.  I was working at home that day.  Cathy came into my office and asked if I would like to have some lunch.  I told her I wanted to get my blog posts up first.  I said that, “I made a commitment to myself to do this first thing everyday and I haven’t done it yet today.”

She looked at me and said, “Do you really think there are people out there who keep checking their inbox to see if you’ve made a new post today?”  Of course not.  It would be nice to think that people just can’t wait to see what I’ve written today, but I know it’s just not true.

However, this story illustrates a common sense point I’d like to make about outstanding performance.  Hold yourself accountable to higher standards than anyone else does. 

Commit to personal excellence, and you won’t have worry about how others see your performance.  If you meet your own standards, you will be successful.  More importantly, you will feel good about yourself; confident in your abilities and realistic about your level of performance.

One last thing.  I let my blog posting slide for a half hour that day.  I had a delightful lunch with my beautiful wife.  And you know what?  I’m glad I did.

That’s it for today.  Thanks for reading.  Log on to my website www.BudBilanich.com to subscribe to my monthly ezine and for more common sense.  Check out my other blog: www.CommonSenseGuy.com for common sense advice on leading people and running a small business.

I’ll see you around the web, and at Alex’s Lemonade Stand.

Bud

PS: Speaking of Alex’s Lemonade Stand – my fundraising page is still open.  Please go to www.FirstGiving.com/TheCommonSenseGuy to read Alex’s inspiring story and to donate if you can.

Building Your Reputation

Today is Tuesday, so this post is on positive personal impact.

Recently, I read a book called How to Build Your Reputation by Rob Brown (www.TheTripSystem.com).  Beginning on page 168, Mr. Brown presents eight common sense tips for building your reputation by impression.

Here are Mr. Brown’s tips, along with my thoughts on each tip:

1. Use people’s names.  To do this, you have to remember the other person’s name.  That’s why it’s really important to pay attention when you are introduced to someone.  If you forget a name, it’s OK to ask – but only once.  Once someone tells you his or her name twice, you had better remember it.
2. Be cooperative.  In other words, look for ways in which you can help others.  Just yesterday, I received a request for help.  Brian Keirnan is doing what he can to keep his sister’s memory alive.  Christy Keirnan died a few years ago at age 12 after a long bout with brain cancer.  Brian and his parents have established the Christy Fund to support children battling cancer.  Brian and his fraternity brothers are holding a volleyball tournament to raise money for the Christy Fund.  He asked me if I could help by providing a raffle item.  I autographed all seven of my books and sent them to him.  In this case, I waited to be asked.  However, I often offer to help before I am asked.  You should too.  People remember those who offer to help them.
3. Be likeable.  You can do this, by smiling, being upbeat, polite and sincere.  Make it a pleasure for people to have a conversation with you.
4. Be engaging.  You can do this by simply saying hello to the people you encounter everyday.  This will help you start conversations.  Once you begin a conversation, the best way to engage another person is to ask questions about him or her.
5. Be around.  Contrary to popular belief, familiarity does not breed contempt.  It breeds friendship and career success.  Mr. Brown says, “strangers turn into friends through prolonged contact and interaction.  This is true.  I use this strategy all the time.  When I visit a city for business, I almost always spend an extra day so I can visit with old friends and customers.  This strategy has generated more incremental business for me than all of my other marketing efforts combined.
6. Be positive.  Some people seem to feel that they need to present a harried, frenzied appearance so that others will see how hard they are working.  This is not a good way to build a positive impression.  People like to be around positive people.  That’s why I always answer, “Great!” when people ask, “How are you?”  I say this even if I’m not feeling great.  No one wants to know about my problems and concerns.  Therefore, I choose to be positive and upbeat.  I find it’s contagious.
7. Be passionate.  Mr. Brown says, “There is nothing as attractive as someone who loves doing what they do.”  I agree.  I care about what I do, and I let it show.  I’m enthusiastic.  When people ask me, “What’s happening?” I always say, “Lot’s of good stuff.  I’m working on another book.  I’m writing two blogs now…”  People know that I care about what I do, because I’m willing to tell them how much I care.
8. Be deliberate.  Mr. Brown defines this as living your life with purpose.  Again, I agree.  My purpose is to help individual people, teams, and entire organizations succeed by applying their common sense.  I tell people this when I meet them.  Everything I do professionally, and to a great extent, personally, has something to do with my purpose. 

These are eight great common sense tips for building your reputation by impression.  Remember, the impression you give is what defines your personal impact.  Is yours positive or negative?

That’s it for today.  Thanks for reading.  Log on to my website www.BudBilanich.com to subscribe to my monthly ezine and for more common sense.  Check out my other blog: www.CommonSenseGuy.com for common sense advice on leading people and running a small business.

I’ll see you around the web, and at Alex’s Lemonade Stand.

Bud

PS: Speaking of Alex’s Lemonade Stand – my fundraising page is still open.  Please go to www.FirstGiving.com/TheCommonSenseGuy to read Alex’s inspiring story and to donate if you can.

Give Yourself Credit When Credit Is Due

Today is Monday, so this post is on self confidence.

I’ve mentioned Susan Jeffers’ The Little Book of Confidence in previous posts.  I really like it – and it is really little – three inches by four inches.  I often open it up when I am feeling a little down.  Inevitably, I find something that raises my spirits.

Yesterday, I opened it to page 157 and found this:

"PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK – The most negative thing you can do is to let your lower self berate you for not doing it ‘right’ or fast enough or whatever!  The most positive thing you can do is pat yourself on the back for every little step you take."

I think this is some great common sense advice.  It is very helpful to me.  I work fast.  I get a lot done quickly.  However, I often underestimate the time it takes for me to complete a project.  When this happens, I get frustrated and upset with myself.  But when I read Dr. Jeffers advice, I realize that I should be giving myself credit for all that I get done, instead of bemoaning the fact that I would have liked to have gotten more done.

This perspective helps, not hinders, my self confidence.

This doesn’t mean that you should miss deadlines and not keep commitments to others and feel good about yourself because you tried.  It does mean, however, that you should take a realistic look at your performance.  If you are moving in the right direction – pat yourself on the back.  This will help your self confidence.

There’s a fine line here.  If you aren’t honest with yourself, you can become a self confident slacker – someone who doesn’t deliver on promises and commitments and still feels as if he or she is doing a great job.  That’s not what I’m talking about in this post. 

I do mean, however, that if you’re moving in the right direction, give yourself credit where credit is due.  This will help your self confidence and help you achieve your career and life goals.

That’s it for today.  Thanks for reading.  Log on to my website www.BudBilanich.com to subscribe to my monthly ezine and for more common sense.  Check out my other blog: www.CommonSenseGuy.com for common sense advice on leading people and running a small business.

I’ll see you around the web, and at Alex’s Lemonade Stand.

Bud

PS: Speaking of Alex’s Lemonade Stand – my fundraising page is still open.  Please go to www.FirstGiving.com/TheCommonSenseGuy to read Alex’s inspiring story and to donate if you can.

The Power of a Sincere Apology

Today is Friday, so this post is on interpersonal competence.

Several years ago, I read an article in Oprah Winfrey’s magazine by Martha Beck called Always Apologize, Always Explain.  I went looking for it on line as I was beginning to write this post.  Ms. Beck has some great common sense advice on the importance of apologies to building strong relationships.  And building strong relationships, along with understanding yourself and resolving conflict in a positive manner, is key to becoming an interpersonally competent person.

Below, I’ve highlighted Ms. Beck’s four points for how to apologize.

Three Steps to Becoming a Good Conversationalist

Today is Thursday, so this post is on communication skills.

As you recall, people with good communication skills have three things in common:

1. They are good conversationalists.
2. They write clearly and succinctly.
3. They make effective presentations.

Today, I’d like to focus on conversation skills. 

Last week, Cathy had a disappointing conversation with an old friend.  When I asked her why, she said, “She told me all about her, her kids and her grandkids.  She never once asked about me or you.”  My response was that I’ve noticed this trend too.  Sometimes when I greet someone and ask “How are you?” they’ll tell me in great detail, but won’t even say, “And how are you?”  I’ve chalked this up to a trend away from extending even the most simple courtesies to others in our society.

Later that same day, I came across a great quote from Dale Carnegie, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

Now that’s some common sense advice; especially for becoming a good conversationalist.  If you want to become a good conversationalist, you need master only one technique, ask thoughtful questions.  People like to talk about themselves.  When you ask good questions, you provide them with the opportunity to do so. 

When you ask questions, really listen to answers and respond appropriately, you are demonstrating a real interest in other people.  And, as Dale Carnegie suggests you’ll make lots of friends by just being interested in others.

The common sense point here is simple.  Becoming a good conversationalist is as easy as one, two three.  1) Ask questions.  2) Listen.  3) Respond appropriately.  What could be easier?

That’s it for today.  Thanks for reading.  Log on to my website www.BudBilanich.com to subscribe to my monthly ezine and for more common sense.  Check out my other blog: www.CommonSenseGuy.com for common sense advice on leading people and running a small business.

I’ll see you around the web, and at Alex’s Lemonade Stand.

Bud

PS: Speaking of Alex’s Lemonade Stand – my fundraising page is still open.  Please go to www.FirstGiving.com/TheCommonSenseGuy to read Alex’s inspiring story and to donate if you can.

Lifelong Learning and Outstanding Performance

Today is Wednesday, so this post is on outstanding performance.  As you know, outstanding performers share three traits:

• Outstanding performers are technically competent.
• Outstanding performers set and achieve high goals.
• Outstanding performers are well organized.

Understated Attire and Personal Impact

Today is Tuesday, so this post is on positive personal impact.

On my www.CommonSenseGuy.com blog on Friday, I wrote about Southwest Air Lines treatment of two women passengers.  These two women were singled out by representatives of the airline and told that they were dressed inappropriately for flying.  You can read the post here:
http://bbilanich.typepad.com/blog/2007/09/southwest-airli.html.  If you read the post, you see that I believe Southwest was in the wrong here.  However, that’s not what I want to discuss today. 

Today’s post is devoted to positive personal impact.  As you recall, people who make a positive personal impact have three things in common.

1. People with powerful personal impact develop and constantly promote their personal brand.
2. People with powerful personal impact are impeccable in their presentation of self.
3. People with powerful personal impact know and practice the basic rules of etiquette.

One way of being impeccable in your presentation of self is to not draw unwanted, negative attention to yourself by your attire.  My advice on this is simple, “Dress one step up from what is required by the situation.”  If you do this, you’ll make a positive personal impact.

I realize that fashion changes quickly, and it can be difficult to always know what is best to wear.  But if you pay attention to what you wear, and your grooming, you will be unlikely to find yourself in an uncomfortable situation.

Back to Ms. Ebbert and Ms. Qassim: as I mentioned previously, I believe they were wronged by Southwest.  On the other hand, they were not dressed one level up.  I am not blaming the victim here.  This doesn’t mean that Southwest had the right to do what they did to each of them. 

I want to cast this situation in light of appropriate attire for business.  The common sense advice is simple.  Pay attention to what you’re wearing.  In most business environments, follow these simple rules.  Wear clean clothes that fit well.  Shine your shoes.  Comb your hair.  Wear understated accessories. 

If you do this, I think you’ll not only make a positive personal impact at work, you’ll probably get by the Southwest fashion police too.

That’s it for today.  Thanks for reading.  Log on to my website www.BudBilanich.com to subscribe to my monthly ezine and for more common sense.  Check out my other blog: www.CommonSenseGuy.com for common sense advice on leading people and running a small business.

I’ll see you around the web, and at Alex’s Lemonade Stand.

Bud

PS: Speaking of Alex’s Lemonade Stand – my fundraising page is still open.  Please go to www.FirstGiving.com/TheCommonSenseGuy to read Alex’s inspiring story and to donate if you can.