Success Common Sense

Audience Analysis and Presentation Success

Dynamic communication is one of the keys to personal and professional success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success.  If you want to become a dynamic communicator, you need to develop three basic but very important communication skills: 1) conversation; 2) writing; 3) presenting.

I’d like to tell you a little story about Pat, one of my coaching clients. 

Pat was very good at her job. So good in fact, that she was asked to make a presentation to the President of her Division and his direct reports on a project that she had brought in on time and under budget.

Pat knew this was a big opportunity to strut her stuff for senior management. She spent hours writing and rewriting her presentation. Then she memorized it. She was confident that she would do a great talk and be on her way to a promotion and even more success.

However, Pat made the mistake of assuming that the President wanted all of the details of her project. She put together a 45 minute presentation. Her PowerPoint slides went into great detail.

A few minutes into her talk, the Division President said, “Pat, we don’t need all of these details, please give us a high level overview. We allowed only 15 minutes for your presentation. We have only 10 minutes left.”

That knocked Pat for a loop. She had memorized her talk, and had real difficulty in deviating from it. She went right back to saying what she had practiced, not what the President had asked her to do.

After a few minutes, Pat’s boss stepped in, and presented the highlights of her project, somewhat saving the day. Pat however, was devastated. She thought she had blown her one chance to make an impression with the President and his direct reports.

She came to me for some coaching on how to become a better presenter. I worked with her closely. One of the tips I gave her right at the start was to always make sure she understood what the audience wanted and expected from her presentation. If she had done this prior to her talk for the Division President, she wouldn’t have prepared and memorized a 45 minute talk. She would have come up with something shorter that hit the highlights of her project.

Pat got a second chance. By then, she had worked hard at becoming an excellent presenter. She wowed the President and his direct reports in her next talk, and eventually got the promotion that propelled her to a great career in her company.

Pat’s story illustrates the importance of analyzing your audience before you create a presentation.  Get to know exactly what they want and are expecting from you and your talk.  Once you do this, you can put together a presentation that will meet their wants and needs – and establish you as a dynamic communicator.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are dynamic communicators.  Dynamic communicators are great presenters.  If you want to become a great presenter, you need to spend time analyzing the audience for your talks.  My successful colleagues in the National Speakers Association do this.  They learn everything they can about who is in the audience and what they are expecting prior to crafting a talk.  If you do this, you’ll be able to create and deliver solid presentations that will meet the needs of your audiences, and in the process, gain a reputation as a great speaker and dynamic communicator.

That’s my take on the importance of audience analysis and effective presentations.  What’s yous?  Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

Success and Lifelong Learning

Outstanding performance is one of the keys to career and life success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success.  If you want to become an outstanding performer, you need to do three things.  First, stay on top of your game by becoming a lifelong learner.  Second, set high goals and do whatever it takes to achieve them.  Third, get organized.  Manage your time, life and stress well.

Recently Forbes.com did a piece on lifelong learning.  While the author, Sangeeth Varghese, was focusing on leaders, he presents some common sense advice that is relevant to anyone interested in creating a successful life and career.

Here’s part of what he has to say…

Learning is like the weather. Everybody talks about it, but nobody does much about it. True leaders, though, can never be switched off to learning opportunities. As John F. Kennedy wrote in a speech he was to give the day he was assassinated, "Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other."

Sangeeth suggests that we should all go through life with “permanent learner's permit.”  He suggests that “we should use our minds to learn from even the most mundane things in life, and thereby they grow unceasingly.”

He suggests three ways to become a lifelong learner.

• Learn constantly
• Concentrate to learn
• Learn through repetition and review

Constant learning is the conscious attempt to learn at every waking moment.  Use down time to think about the information you’ve taken in recently, and to figure out how to use in to advance your life and career.  Even though I have written four books about career and life success and post to this blog five days a week, I keep learning about success.  My writing creates a situation in which I am constantly thinking about and finding new sources of information about success.  This in turn has led me to a deeper, richer understanding of how to become a personal and professional success.  I share that knowledge in these posts and my books.  By focusing on success constantly, I have become more knowledgeable about it.

Focus and concentration are two important keys to learning.  The more you focus and concentrate on a problem or situation, the better you will learn and be able to use the lessons gained from solving the problem in the future.

Finally, you learn from repetition and review.  The more you look at a subject from a variety of perspectives, the more you will learn about it.  Above, I used an example of how I am constantly learning about success from my writing.  I consciously choose to read and listen to what all sorts of people have to say about success.  As a result I find that the more I learn about career and life success, the more there is to know.  I stay alert – always looking for information that is in any way related to success.  You’d be surprised at the unusual places where I find it.  For example I found a great piece of advice on self confidence from Wally Amos in the Costco Connection magazine.  I blogged about it a couple of days ago.  You can see that post here.

Sangeeth concludes his article in Forbes.com with what he calls a Leadership Takeaway. 

Leaders never let their minds shut down. Whatever you are doing at any given moment -- watching the news, working on a business deal, talking to a friend, reading this article -- give it your full attention, and keep on learning.
 

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are outstanding performers.  Outstanding performers stay on top of their game because they are lifelong learners.  Lifelong learners share three traits in common.  They learn continuously.  They use their power of concentration to learn.  They learn through repetition and review.  You can become an effective lifelong learner by tuning in to the world around you.  Keep your learner’s permit up to date.  Give your full attention to what you are doing.  You’ll be surprised at how much you learn.

That’s my take on lifelong learning and success.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud
 

Business Meals and Success

Positive personal impact is one of the keys to personal and professional success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success.  If you want to create positive personal impact you need to do three things.  1) Develop, nurture and constantly promote your personal brand.  2) Be impeccable in your presentation or self – in person and on line.  3) Know and follow the basic rules of etiquette.

Knowing and the basic rules of etiquette are especially helpful when you are invited to a business meal.  Business meals are about business, not the food.  Remember this the next time you are invited to share a meal – whether breakfast, lunch or dinner – with a business colleague.  While it’s important to know dining etiquette, it’s also important to pay attention to what you order.

Here’s a personal story that really makes this point.  It comes from my forthcoming new book 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success.

About 30 years ago, I had just accepted a job as the Training Manager for a division of a large company. Our division was located in New Haven, CT, a city with a large Italian population and a lot of great Italian restaurants.

About a month after I began my job, the VP of Human Resources for the corporation was hosting a two-day meeting of all of the senior HR people in the company at our location. Since the meeting was at our location, junior people like me were invited to a dinner held the evening of the first day of the meeting. I was looking forward to this dinner.  It was an opportunity for me to impress some senior people in other divisions.

One of my junior colleagues was a local woman. She was excited about the choice of the restaurant. Of course it was an Italian restaurant. She had been there on special occasions with her husband. She was very fond of a dish called zuppa de pesce, a medley of seafood served over spaghetti. A couple of days before the meeting she told me about that this dish and that it was available for two only and asked if I would be willing to share it with her. I said, “Sure.”

We arrived at the restaurant, and sure enough, zuppa de pesce was on the menu. My friend and I ordered it. What a disaster!

First the waiters brought lobster bibs for both of us. No one else had ordered this dish, so we were the only ones wearing our bibs. When the food arrived, everyone had a dish of pasta, or some grilled fish, or a steak. The zuppa de pesce was served on a silver tray so big that the waiters had to bring a side table for it. There was enough fish and pasta to feed the entire table. My friend dug in and really enjoyed her dinner. I felt like I was a character in The Godfather.

I spent my time trying to carry on an intelligent conversation with people I wanted to impress while I was wearing a lobster bib and working hard to make sure that I didn’t spill any red sauce, or “gravy,” as the waiter called it, on my suit. 

I didn’t lose any points that night – but I didn’t make any either.  It was pretty apparent to most people that I was there for the food, not for the conversation.

I learned a lesson that day. Always order something that is easy to eat and won’t call attention to you as you eat it. I try to be a good friend, and in social situations, I will often share an entrée that is available for two only – but I never do that in a business situation.  Because business dinners are not about the food.  They’re about the conversation.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people create positive personal impact.  If you want to create positive personal impact, you must know and follow the basic rules of etiquette.  This is especially true at a business meal.  Knowing simple things like the water glass is on your right, and the bread and butter plat is on your left, can save you a lot of embarrassment.  It’s also important to order something that is easy to eat and doesn’t call attention to you while you eat it.  Pasta that needs to be twirled, lobster or other shellfish are good things to avoid at a business dinner.  Order simple food, and mind your manners as you are eating it.

That’s my take on what not to order at a business dinner.  What’s yours?  Do you have any amusing stories about business meal faux pas you’ve made?  If so, please share them so we all can learn.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

The Watermelon Credo, Self Confidence and Success

Self confidence is one of the keys to career and life success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success.  If you want to become self confident you need to do three things.  First, become an optimist.  Believe and act as if today will be better than yesterday, and that tomorrow will be better than today.  Follow the ten principles of The Optimist Creed.  If you want a copy of The Optimist Creed suitable for framing and hanging in your workplace go to www.BudBilanich.com/optimist.  Second, face your fears and act.  Fear is the enemy of self confidence.  Action cures fear.  Finally, surround yourself with positive people.  Find and befriend positive, self confident people.  Jettison the negative people in your life.

I post to this blog five days a week.  People often ask me how I find ideas for it.  The answer is simple, I stay tuned into to message.  I read a lot and often find great advice in some unlikely sources.  The other day the latest Costco Connection magazine arrived in our mailbox at home.  Cathy was going to toss it.  I decided to take a look.  I found some great success advice on page 11.  It came fromWally Amos, founder of Famous Amos Cookies and Uncle Wally’s Muffin Company, and it’s called the Watermelon Credo.

It’s summer time – watermelon is just coming into season.  I had a big bowl of watermelon before I went for a bike ride yesterday.  It was great.  Of course, I am a big fan of watermelon, something I inherited from my dad.  That’s why Wally Amos’ Watermelon Credo caught my eye in the Costco Connection magazine.

Wally Amos says the Watermelon Credo is a “guide that has helped me and others through rough times.  I share it with you in the hope that it will help you through these rough times.”  If you are an optimist, you readily acknowledge that these are tough times.  Yet, you know in your heart of heats that tough times will end.  They will end quicker if you stay positive.

So, in the hopes of helping you stay positive and optimistic in these tough times, I offer you…

The Watermelon Credo

W – Whatever you believe creates your reality.  Believe that life is a positive experience and it will be.

A – Attitude is the magic word.   Your greatest asset is your attitude.  Be positive regardless.

T – Together everyone achieves more.  There are no limits to what we can accomplish together.  I am more that I am but less than we are.

E – Enthusiasm is the wellspring of life.  There is no limit to what can be accomplished with enough enthusiasm.

R – Respect yourself, as well as other.  When you begin to respect yourself, your whole world changes.

M – Make commitments, not excuses.  There is overwhelming power in the words “Yes I will.”

E – Everyday can be a fun day.  Fun is the lubricant that keeps life moving forward.  Laugh a lot.

L – Love is the answer.   Whatever the question, love is the answer.  It’s the greatest force in the universe.

O – One day at a time.  How do you eat an elephant?  One bit at a time.  All of life happens in increments of one.

N – Never give up or become a victim.  You are guaranteed to lose if you give up.  Winston Churchill was right, “Never, never, never give up.”  It works if you work it.”

The Watermelon Credo is fun, inspirational and a great reminder for us to always live life from our highest self.  Do not allow yourself to be overwhelmed by events.   Let w-a-t-e-r-m-e-l-o-n remind you that you are larger than events.  You have the power to create and change events by what you believe.

I believe in being an optimist.  Optimism is the foundation on which you can build your self confidence and success.

The common sense point here is simple.  Self confidence is a key to career and life success.  Successful people are self confident.  Optimism is the foundation of self confidence.  Wally Amos, founder of Famous Amos Cookies and Uncle Wally’s Muffin Company, says it well in his Watermelon Credo.  “Whatever you believe creates your reality.  Believe that life is a positive experience and it will be.”  Optimists believe that life is a positive experience.  I believe that life is a positive experience.  Of course, I’m a relentless optimist.  How about you?

That’s my take on Wall Amos, The Watermelon Credo, self confidence and success.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  And, take a few minutes this week, and have some watermelon.  Think about the great common sense advice in The Watermelon Credo as you are eating it.  I’m going to.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

Conflict Resolution and Success

Interpersonal competence is one of the keys to career and life success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success.  If you want to become interpersonally competent, you need to do three things.  First, get to know yourself.  Use this self knowledge to better understand and communicate with others.  Second, build solid long-lasting mutually beneficial relationships with the important people in your life.  Third, resolve conflict positively and in a manner that enhances, rather than detracts, from your relationships.

Eric Harvey and Steve Ventura are close friends of mine.  Eric is the CEO of Walk the Talk Company, and co-author of the amazing book Walk the Talk: and Get the Results You Want.  Steve is a prolific writer and the editor in chief at Walk the Talk.  His editing and advice have greatly improved the three books I’ve published with Walk the Talk.

A few years ago, Eric and Steve wrote a great book on conflict, What to Do When CONFLICT HAPPENS.  Yesterday they did a recap of it in the Walk the Talk Company ezine, “The Leadership Solution.”  This is a great ezine, you can subscribe at www.walkthetalk.com.

Here’s what Eric and Steve have to say about what to do when you find yourself in an interpersonal conflict that takes you by surprise…

Interpersonal Conflicts … When There’s No Time for Planning

It’s bound to happen. Sooner or later you’ll be caught off guard – finding yourself smack dab in the middle of an unexpected conflict with someone on your team. You’re in it before you know it, and there’s no time for formulating a well-thought-out resolution strategy. You’ve got to respond in some way, and you have to do it NOW! What do you do? How can you keep the situation from escalating and ending up some-where you DON’T want to be? Here are a few suggestions:

1.  Stop, breath, and think. Stop whatever you’re doing, take a couple of deep breaths to control your tension, and then immediately (and quickly) think about exactly what you need to do and say next.
 
2. Acknowledge the conflict by saying something like: Michael, I’m sensing that there are some issues between the two of us that we need to talk through, or, Kim, I’m feeling that I might have done something to upset you. Can we talk about it?
 
3. Buy some time. Suggest that you meet at a later time that day (or the following day) so that you both have an opportunity to relax a little and gather your thoughts. If the other person agrees, use the time to prepare for the meeting. If the person doesn’t agree on a time delay …
 
4. Take it somewhere else (if other coworkers are present). That way, you’ll avoid disrupting the rest of the group – and you’ll eliminate any temptations you and the other person might have to “showboat” or maintain some bogus image in front of your teammates. Suggest a different venue with words such as: It’s best for everyone if we keep this just between us. Where else would you feel comfortable talking?
 
5.  Keep it respectful.  Do your absolute best to conduct yourself in a calm and respectful manner – regardless of how the other person responds. Will it be easy? Of course not! But that doesn’t change the fact that although you can’t control what others do, you certainly can (and do) control your own behavior.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are interpersonally competent.  Interpersonally competent people resolve conflict in a manner that enhances, not detracts, from their relationships.  Focusing on where you agree with the other person is always a good place to begin when you find yourself in a conflict situation.  Eric Harvey and Steve Ventura’s advice – 1) stop, breathe and think; 2) acknowledge the conflict; 3) buy some time; 4) take it somewhere else (when others are present); and 5) keep it respectful – are great next steps.

That’s my take on conflict resolution and success.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

Conversations, Listening and Success

Dynamic communication is one of the keys to personal and professional success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success.  If you want to become a dynamic communicator, you must master three basic, but very important communication skills: conversation, writing and presenting.

Listening to others and then responding appropriately is one of my first rules for becoming an outstanding conversationalist.  I always urge my coaching clients to do three things when they are in conversation.  1) Ask lots of questions.  2) Really listen to what the other person is saying.  3) Respond appropriately.  Laugh if the person says something funny.  Commiserate if the person reveals something that is sad.  Make sure the other person knows you are tuned in and paying attention.

Most people like to talk about themselves.  That’s why listening is so important.  You can gain a reputation as a great conversationalist – even if you don’t say much.  Listening is that important. 

Of course, adding your thoughts to the conversation doesn’t hurt – as long as you keep them focused on what the other person is saying.  If you absolutely need to change the subject, let him or her know.  Say something like, “I understand and appreciate what you’re saying.  If we’re done with that topic, I need to speak with you about something else.  OK?”

In her new book, CEO Material, my friend Debra Benton has a lot to say about listening and conversation.  Here is a small sample…

“The best way to influence others is with your ears.  If you listen in a way that causes people to feel heard, you’ll hear things right the first time, maintain the self esteem of others, build better relationships, see nuances.

“Shut out other people and distractions, and stop thinking about what anyone else is thinking or your response.  Take of your headphones, stop texting, turn off your cell phone, put away your Blackberry.  Don’t doodle; fidget with your hands, arms or fingers’ squirm; body rock: or get up and move around (like you have ADD).  Instead, lean forward, tilt your head a little, give some eye contact, and maybe throw in a brow furrow, don’t glance around or act bored, disbelieving, or disagreeing.  Just listen to the person who is talking, remember what he or she says, and say some of it back to that person later. 

“Don’t quit listening if you don’t like what you’re hearing.  Pay attention to complete information.  Try to make sense of the data, even if you don’t agree.  Not every misguided opinion needs to be corrected by you.  Pick your battles, as they say.  You’ll create calm for both of you -- and the other person will more likely listen to you also.”

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are dynamic communicators.  Conversation skills are one key to becoming a dynamic communicator.  Listening is at the heart of being a good conversationalist.  If you want to become known as a good conversationalist, do three things: 1) Ask lots of questions.  2) Really listen to what the other person is saying.  3) Respond appropriately.  If you make sure the other person knows you are tuned in and paying attention, you’ll be able to conduct a productive conversation with just about anyone you meet – and become known as a dynamic communicator.

That’s my take on listening, conversations and success.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts and ideas with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

Healthy Eating and Success

Outstanding performance is one of the keys to career and life success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success.  If you want to become an outstanding performer you need to do three things.  First, stay on top of your game by becoming a lifelong learner.  Second, set high goals.  Do whatever it takes to achieve them.  Third, get organized.  Manage your time, life and stress well.

Your diet is an important part of life and stress management.  It’s easier to perform at a high level when you eat well and exercise regularly.

If you’ve been paying attention recently, you’ve probably seen the news reports about the high caloric content of a lot of restaurant meals.  Apparently a lot of restaurant food (Chili’s Southwestern Eggrolls have really received a lot of bad press) is engineered to contain large amounts of fat, sugar and salt, which release the chemical dopamine, which in turn stimulates your desire to consume more foods high in fat, sugar and salt – an unhealthy combination.  If you’re interested in learning more about this, I suggest you read The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite, by David Kessler

Eating at home is one way to eat a more healthy diet.  But eating at home can be a bit of a chore.  Clint Bounds has created a meal planning website, www.plantoeat.com that will not only help you plan healthy nutritious meals, it will help you plan your shopping.  Here’s what he has to say…

Eating at home should be easier.

If you are anything like our family, you often find your fridge either too full of food you can't use or practically empty. You can't decide what to eat throughout the day so you end up spending more money eating out. You're frustrated with grocery shopping because you buy what you don't need and forget the stuff you do. You're tired of reinventing the wheel every meal!

Meal planning to the rescue.

Over the years, meal planning has been the most successful process that has helped our family consistently eat at home. When you have a plan, you know what you are eating in advance, have the ingredients and can start cooking before you are hungry. This saves money, time and your sanity. But even if you don't eat out often, you will still save money with meal planning because you will buy less of what you don't need and waste less food. You will also eat healthier meals with ingredients you can pronounce (and digest), spend more time with your family and friends, and relieve the stress of not knowing what to eat at the worst times (when you are already hungry, or worse, when your kids are).

So how do you meal plan?

First, plan to meal plan. Set aside time each week to plan your meals for the week or just the next few days. Then create your family menu so you can quickly make a meal selection, just as you would at a restaurant. Then plan your meals using your menu and event calendar, and create your shopping list from the planned recipes. To help with this process and eliminate the redundancy, such as continually recreating your shopping list, we have built a meal planning website called Plan to Eat. Plan to Eat is a simple to use tool that allows you to permanently store all of your favorite recipes in one place. No more fumbling through multiple recipe books, magazines and websites. You can either import recipes from popular recipe websites or easily input them by hand. Once you have your menu, you can search for your recipes by ingredients, cuisines, etc. Then drag-and-drop your recipes to your weekly meal plan and Plan to Eat automatically creates the shopping list for you, sorted by grocery store categories. It's really easy. You can also share your recipes with your friends. They can see your recipes and you can see theirs. We have a virtual "Pantry" that includes many popular staple items (like milk, napkins, soap, etc.) that help remind you what staple items you need before going shopping. And you can add them to your shopping list with only a few clicks. Then print out your shopping list and go shopping with confidence that you have a plan that includes eating great food at home, and not wasting time and money in the process.

Clint makes some great points here – and his Plan to Eat website makes it easy to plan for and cook delicious, healthy meals at home.  Check it out.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are outstanding performers.  Outstanding performers manage their time, life and stress well.  You will eat better, more healthy meals if you cook at home.  To take full advantage of the health benefits of eating at home, you need to do a good job of meal planning.  Clint Bounds’Plan to Eat website is an excellent resource for planning your meals – and for eating a more healthy diet – and for saving money on your food cost.  It’s a win/win/win.

That’s my take on healthy eating for success.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  And don't forget to check out www.plantoeat.com. As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

The Internet, Your Presentation of Self and Success

Positive personal impact is one of the keys to career and life success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success.  If you want to create positive personal impact, you need to do three things.  1) Develop and nurture your unique personal brand.  2) Be impeccable in your presentation of self – in person and on line.  3) Know and follow the basic rules of etiquette.

Last Friday I came across an article on HRGuru.com called “15 Dumbest Ways to Lose Your Job.”  Guess what?  The first three dumb ways to lose a job involved inappropriate information the job holders posted on line.  They are cases of extreme stupidity – and cruelty, but they illustrate my point about being impeccable in your presentation of self on line very well.

In the first case, two nurses were fired for using their Facebook accounts to discuss x rays they saw of a patient who had a sex toy lodged in his rectum.  The HRGuru.com comment – “Violating a patient’s privacy is just plain wrong. Violating a patient’s privacy, then advertising it on a social networking site is just plain stupid.”  I agree.

In the second case, two Domino’s Pizza employees took pictures of themselves sneezing on sandwiches and cleaning a pizza pan with a sponge one of them used to wipe his bare bottom just moments before. They posted their video on YouTube, and it quickly became an internet sensation. Both employees were fired and now face criminal charges for tampering with food.  That’s just not stupid, it demonstrates a complete lack of regard for other human beings.

In the third case, a guy in South Africa posted a comment on his Facebook page calling his boss a “serial masturbator.”  A co worker saw the post and reported it to the employer.  The poster lost his job.  HRGuru.com says, “Don’t say anything on Facebook you wouldn’t want your boss, spouse, parents or children to see. Ever.” 

I really agree with HRGuru.com’s advice on the third point.  That’s why I always advise my coaching clients to be impeccable in your presentation of self – in person and on line. 

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people create positive personal impact.  You create positive personal impact by being impeccable in your presentation of self.  I used to think that dressing neatly and appropriately for your work situation was enough to make a good impression.  Of course, I grew up in the pre internet age.  These days, you need to think before you post things on the internet – even if they seem very funny to you at first glance, like a picture of you at a party.  And, you should never post anything that is hurtful or demeans another person.  It’s common practice for people to Google someone who they are going to meet for the first time.  Make sure that what turns up when someone Googles you is the first impression you want a stranger to have of you.

That’s my take on the internet, your presentation of self and success.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

Every Little Step Toward Success

Self confidence is one of the keys to personal and professional success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success.  If you want to become self confident you need to do three things.  First, become an optimist.  Believe that today will be better than yesterday and tomorrow will be better than today.  Second, face your fears and act.  Third, surround yourself with positive people.

Last week I saw a great movie, Every Little Step.  It is a documentary depicting the casting for the revival of the Broadway play A Chorus Line; which is interesting because A Chorus Line is a play about people auditioning for a Broadway play.  Pretty clever filmmaking – and a delight to watch.

As I watched Every Little Step I was struck by the self confidence of the dancers and actors auditioning.  They were optimistic.  They all believed they were going to get the part.  They faced the fear that comes with auditioning for a highly critical small group of people – and did it with a smile on their faces.  And, even though they were all in competition for the same parts, they supported on another.  It was great to watch.

I found one woman particularly interesting.  Prior to the final audition, cospoke candidly on camera about finding the courage to do the very best she could at the audition, and taking solace in that, even if she didn’t get the part.  It’s what athlete’s call “leaving it all on the field.”  Natascia went for it.  She left it all on the audition stage – and didn’t get the part.  My heart broke for her. 

Afterwards, she spoke on camera again and said that she was disappointed, but that in her heart of hearts she knows that “her time will come” and she will get a leading role in Broadway.

I was impressed.  This young woman put her heart and soul into wining a part that she didn’t get.  Yet, she was happy with herself because she knew she did the absolute best she could.  And, she didn’t let this set back deter her.

Natascia is an optimist.  She embodies several points of The Optimist Creed.  And, as you remember, optimism is one of the keys to self confidence.  After her disappointment, she promised herself “to forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.”  She also was “so strong that nothing – even losing a part she had worked so hard to get – could disturb her peace of mind.”  And, she was “too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble” in her life.  She looked forward to the next audition.

I love The Optimist Creed.  It helps me stay positive and focused on my goals.  I have given away over a thousand copies of it.  If you want a copy to hang in your workspace – just like me, please go to www.BudBilanich.com/optimist.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are self confident.  Self confident people are optimistic.  They act in the face of their fears, and they surround themselves with positive people.  The film, Every Little Step, shows a group of courageous, optimistic people competing against the odds for a part in a Broadway show.  If you’re interested in building your self confidence, pick it up at the video store, or order it on Netflix.  You’ll see some amazing examples of people who are optimistic, believe in themselves and face their fears and act.  It’s a film you can enjoy on many levels.  The human drama is gripping.

That’s my take on Every Little Step and self confidence.  What’s yours?  If you’ve seen the movie, please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

Thank You Notes and Success

Interpersonal competence is one of the keys to career and life success I discuss in Straight Talk for Success and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Career.  If you want to become interpersonally competent, you need to do three things.  First get to know yourself.  Use this self knowledge to help you better understand others.  Second, build strong, lasting, mutually beneficial relationships with the important people in your life.  Third, resolve conflict positively.  Treat conflict as an opportunity to strengthen, not harm, relationships.

Recently, I did a blog post where I featured Jeff Hajek’s book Whaddya Mean I Gotta Be Lean?  I like this book.  And, as I pointed out in the post, Jeff provides some great career advice in a book that at first glance doesn’t seem to have much to do with career success.

Jeff sent me an e mail the day after the post ran, thanking me for my favorable comments about his book.  I thought that was great – and for me it was enough.  However, a couple of days later, I received a handwritten note from Jeff.  It read…

Bud,
I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to review Whaddya Mean on your blog.  I am cognizant of the fact that you have gone out of your way to help me, so if there is anything I can ever do to return the favor, please don’t hesitate to ask.
Best wishes,
Jeff

Handwritten notes are not very common these days.  I was touched that Jeff took the time to write one and send it to me.  By sending it, he really strengthened his relationship with me.  The next time he asks for my help, I am very likely to give it to him.  Also, he offered his help to me.  I feel that I can go to him if I need assistance in his area of expertise.  Jeff used a simple technique – a handwritten note – to build his relationship with me.

My post helped Jeff – any exposure helps.  But I reviewed his book because I thought it would be useful to readers of this blog.  My intent was to provide readers of this blog with useful information.  So my review was a win/win/win.  Good for you, good for Jeff, and good for me because I am meeting one of my goals – helping others create the successful life and career that they deserve.  All three of us benefited. 

Jeff purchased a thank you card for his note to me.  That was great, but I have an even better idea.  I have invested in a set of note cards with my name printed at the top and my return address on the back flap of the envelope.  I suggest that you do the same – you’ll find yourself writing more thank you notes when you have a card handy. 

One of the companies where I have done a lot of consulting and coaching work has picked up on this idea.  They have placed blank thank you notes – with one of their core values on the front of the card – at convenient locations in their offices.  Their intent is to get employees to thank one another for good work.  And it worked.  People are sending more of these handwritten notes to their colleagues, strengthening relationships within the company.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are interpersonally competent.  Interpersonally competent people are good at building relationships.  Thanking people when they help you is a great way to build relationships.  Hand written thank you notes are the best way of doing so.  Hand written thank you notes establish you as someone who cares about other people and is willing to go a little out of your way to build relationships.  They are the hallmark of interpersonally competent people.

That’s my take on thank you notes and interpersonal competence.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts on this topic with us.  As always, you have my deepest gratitude for taking time out of your day to read what I’ve written.

Bud